Moments ago my peace and quiet was interrupted by what
sounds like Romeo and Juliet. Loud strong male voices assaulted my serene
morning. Now, with three young men in my home, I can be pretty sure that none
of them felt the need to pop a little Shakespeare into the dvd player and turn
the volume up to a deafening level, but I thought I should check. I needed to check because my inspiration
was waufting away like steam rising from a kettle, while my frustration was
boiling like the water inside. Had I just paused and thought it through I would
have known that on a Saturday morning at 9:00 a.m. no teenage boy is awake enough
to even turn on the dvd player let alone appreciate the beauty of romantic
siliques. When I was assured they were
all snug in their beds like giant pigs in a blanket, I made my way to the
window and realized that my neighbor was listening to a book on tape—at an ear
piercing level. Perhaps they wanted to hear it outside where they were working
in the garden—and hear they could; as could I and all of the surrounding
houses; inside and out. Now you have to
know that what seems like a simple problem with a simple solution isn’t. There
is a history here. There have been other confrontations. Let’s just say we have
different boundaries than our beloved neighbors. As nice and kind as they may
be, (and they are), there has been a history of cars parking across our
driveway so we are held captive in our cars or home, children climbing over the
fence into our backyard to ask about the wisdom of our removing the dough- boy
pool that came with the house, sunrise meetings ( yes I mean at dawn) on their
property each week- day morning, attended by 20 or so vocal participants and
the many “informational pamphlets” left on our front porch. Conversations about these events have left
things a bit strained which was confirmed when we overheard them discussing
with their guests one afternoon, our “insane need” to have the ability to back
out of our driveway whenever we wanted.
So excuse me if I don’t don some courage and run over and ask the
neighbor to turn the fatally afflicted love birds down. It is a matter of
choosing our battles. I will try to wait it out this time because there may be
another issue on the horizon that is more urgent, so is it really necessary to
turn this into a hill upon which I will stand and fight.
It’s a life lesson isn’t it? Look at parenting for instance.
If we hold up to our children each and every thing that is not to our liking,
they will tune us out—maybe permanently. Sometimes we choose our battles, because quietly
picking up the 24 dirty cups that appeared on the counter since we did dishes
last night is better than complaining about it one more time. Maybe showing a
little grace in one area gives us space to be heard when we need to bring up a
concern in a more important area. (No
you may not drive yourself to Denny’s at 2:00 a.m.,--just as the bars are
closing down, to have a late night breakfast with the rest of the basketball
team.—And no I’m not driving you either.)
This is true for our other relationships as well, spouse,
family friends, and equally important--ourselves. Choose your battles with
yourself. You can be room mom, work
outside of the home, make gourmet dinners, keep up a vibrant relationship with
the Lord, volunteer in your church ministry, eat healthy and workout each day,
put together a life changing baby shower for your friend, volunteer to lead
VBS, and still have enough energy left to light a spark of romance with your
husband, but should you. When you
can’t do it all, do you beat yourself up for your shortcomings? Choose your
battles. You can be a great mom and serve up a grocery store, rotisserie
chicken for dinner. You can take care of your health but maybe delay your
entrance in the Boston Marathon for this year. What are the things that aren’t negotiable
for you? Where can you choose to give up the battle in order to win the war? Marriage,
family, a few moments of quiet with the Lord, these are some of the things I
will choose to battle for. Messy kisses and stories at bed time don’t last
forever so don’t succumb to the battle of dust bunnies and dirty dishes. Choose
what matters most for now. Let’s put our energies toward something of eternal
worth: hugs and love, and peace and Jesus not organized cupboards, size 2
jeans, and noisy neighbors. Choose your battles, save your energy and maybe
appreciate a little Shakespeare.
